My daughter Katarina is 1.5 years old. And it recently dawned on me how fast time is flying. I know everybody says time flies but there are certain moments in your life where you briefly grasp the full notion of just how fast it’s moving. In a matter of months, this little thing that couldn’t initially hold up her own head is now dictating what she will or will not eat and what she will or will not wear! And with a sassy attitude I might add… umm what and when did this happen?!
This got me thinking about what sort of values and ideas I could try to instil in my growing daughter that could help her navigate this ever confusing and volatile world of ours. Basically, the things that I have learned along the way that if I had realised sooner, would have made it an easier, less bumpy ride.
Here are some things I want my daughter to know…
The most important relationship you will have in life; is the relationship you have with yourself. DVF (Diane Von Fustenburg) makes this statement in most of her interviews and there is nothing more true. Because everywhere you go there you are. You have to be kind to yourself. You can’t lie to yourself. You’ve got to have your own back. Yes, it’s great to have friends and loving boyfriends blah blah. But, the relationship you have with yourself will dictate how all the others relate to and treat you. So work on that first.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. If you get a sense that this might be happening to you, please fight the urge to be smaller to fit it in. Fitting in isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You don’t make a difference or change the world by being more of the same. And it goes back to the relationship with yourself thing. If you think people are insecure around you or you threaten their sense of self. That is not your tribe. Your job is not to try and become smaller but to go out there and find your tribe.
Be grateful and appreciate things. Gratitude is a big big thing, for Grace comes in through the crack that gratitude creates. There is always something to be thankful and grateful for. Always … if you woke up and are comfortably breathing that is reason number one. But seriously, if you learn to appreciate and be sincerely grateful for the smallest things in your life. You will be amazed at the quality of life you could be graced with.
Your mama loves you and loves you hard. NOTHING can ever change that. Its unconditional. You might not always feel that and we might not always get along. But when all is said and done. You can always and will always have me. Know that.
I have so many more things that I would love to teach and instil in her but just think this might be a good place to start. As always, I would love to hear from my readers and what you all deem important. Let’start a conversation, please leave a comment below.
Till next time we talk shop,
Also published on Medium.